


Meltdown

by meshtams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Autism, Autistic Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Harry Potter, Comforting Harry Potter, Desi Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, M/M, Meltdown, Non-Verbal, Sign Language, Soft Draco Malfoy, Sweet Harry Potter, Tall Draco Malfoy, a girl kisses draco without his consent just fyi, deaf mrs figg (mentioned), sensory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meshtams/pseuds/meshtams
Summary: Draco has a meltdown up on the astronomy tower and is comforted by Harry
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 146





	Meltdown

Draco scrunched his eyes closed, shaking his hands out under the hot water of the shower as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. The entire day he’d felt as if he was in sensory hell. The stiff material of his uniform had been irritating his skin to the point he’d not been able to focus in any of his classes, and everything felt like it’d been too loud and too bright and just too much.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood under the spray, but by the time he opened his eyes his fingers had started to prune up. He took his time scrubbing his body with his soft washcloth, making sure that every inch was perfectly clean, before moving onto his hair. Shampoo, scrub, rinse, conditioner, scrub, wait, rinse. Once he was done, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing one of his big fluffy towels. It was large enough to envelope him, and made him feel almost as if he were being swallowed whole by some sort of soft monster as he draped it over his head and wrapped it around his narrow shoulders, feeling it swing around his ankles with each step (certainly a feat given his 6’3” height.)

Once dry and shut behind his canopy drapes, Draco dug through his trunk until he found some of his ‘Difficult Day’ clothes. Thick, soft grey muggle leggings with the tags removed, big blue fuzzy socks that gathered comfortably around his slender ankles and an oversized dusty-rose chenille sweater that fell almost to his knees. He had a selection of clothes like these that were comfortable for him to wear when he was having one of his Bad Days. He cast a quick _tempus_ before discarding his wand on his nightstand- 9:07PM, which meant that Pansy would probably be in the common room by now. He nodded to himself, shook his hands out once more, and headed down the stairs. He swung open the heavy wooden door to the common room and his senses were instantly assaulted by the smell of cheap fire-whisky and the sound of at least the entirety of Slytherin house talking, dancing and listening to excessively loud music. Clamping his hands over his ears, he walked in, hoping to see Pansy. She was always fairly helpful when he had Bad days, and never complained when he wanted to just sit on his bed and have her paint his nails (something he’d discovered could be intensely soothing when he was in fourth year) or talk to him about random things.

He was just over half way across the room, and still hadn’t caught a glimpse of his best friend’s sleek black bob, when he was yanked down onto one of the overstuffed silvery chaise lounges by a tipsy sixth year girl he vaguely recognized. As soon as her hand touched him, he felt himself tense almost painfully, and he hadn’t even the chance to ask her what in Merlin’s name she thought she was doing before her lips were on his. He froze momentarily before pushing her back as hard as he could. His first kiss and it was stolen by some self-entitled drunk girl. Every fibre of his being was screaming and it was all he could do to stumble to his feet and run out of the common room, into the cold corridors of the dungeons. He barely knew where he was going, his socked feet thudding dully on the stone floors until he made it to the astronomy tower and dropped to the floor, pulling his knees up beneath his chin and biting down on the web of skin between his thumb and his forefinger.

He rocked back and forth lightly, chewing on the skin and breathing heavily as he blinked tears out of his eyes. The combination of the horrible day he’d had and that girl trying to force herself on him was just too much. He wished he had his weighted blanket with him, because he knew the pressure would sooth him, but it hadn’t occurred to him to grab it before leaving his dorm. He was glad he was at least wearing his comfort clothes. He bit down on his hand extra hard and felt the points of his teeth rip into the skin and pulled his hand out of his mouth with a dry sob, gagging as the taste of blood hit his lips. He slapped both palms into his head, one on either side and applied pressure. He had been trying to stop hitting his head so much, but sometimes he couldn’t help it.

He froze as he heard footsteps coming towards him, and looked up just in time to see Harry Potter step through the doorway across from him. Harry’s hair was messier than ever, flopping down into his vibrant green eyes- eyes which widened as they landed on Draco. He knew he must look a mess, his hair waving all over the place, his hand bloodied and his eyes red-rimmed and almost wild.

“Malfoy? Are you okay?” Draco had been half expecting Harry to make fun of him, even though he knew logically that the other man would never do that, and so was shocked by the gentle concern on his handsome, square face. Draco opened his mouth to speak, but instantly knew it was futile, and closed it again. He shrugged.

Draco hadn’t spoken until he was 11 years old (specifically on his 11th birthday, when his Hogwarts letter had arrived and he’d ran across the manor to show his father, flapping his hands excitedly, and shouted “Letter!”. He’d then spent the next few months until he’d started at Hogwarts in intensive speech therapy), and sometimes on his Bad days he found his voice abandoning him again.

“Can you not talk?” Harry’s tone was soft. Draco shook his head, dropping his hands to his sides and twisting them back and forth and subtly as he could. “Were you hexed?” Another head shake. “Do you know sign language?” Draco’s head perked up, and he made brief eye-contact with Harry before shuddering and moving his eyes to focus on Harry’s thick, curly hair instead. He nodded. “Oh, okay, great! So do I. So, are you alright?” Draco just shrugged again. He never quite knew how to answer that. “What’s wrong?” Harry dropped down about a foot in front of Draco, sitting cross-legged on the cold stone floor.

‘ _too much’_ Draco’s hands were shaky and a little fumbling, but he could still communicate well enough.

“What’s too much?”

‘ _everything_ ’ Harry tilted his head to the side in question. _‘light, sound, textures. Girl kissed me without consent. Just too much.’_

“Oh, alright.” Harry nodded, smiling a bit. Draco felt his heart race a little at the feeling of being on the receiving end of one of Harry’s wonderful smiles. “Why’d she kiss you?”

‘ _don’t know. Gross.’_ Draco shuddered theatrically, and Harry let out a quick bark of laughter, making Draco jump a little.

“Sorry. Was it that bad, then?” He laughed lightly.

‘ _gross. I’m gay.”_ Draco signed before thinking about it, and then clamped his eyes shut. Of course, the first person other than Pansy he told was Harry bloody Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world and the man Draco had been mental over since first year.

Harry laughed good-naturedly. “Fair enough. I guess that plus the whole lack of consent thing would make it pretty gross.”

Draco looked back at Harry. _‘you don’t care?’_

“What, that you’re gay?” Draco nodded. “Of course not. Be a bit hypocritical of me if I did, wouldn’t it?”

Draco felt like he was in shock. _‘you’re gay?’_

“Bi, actually.” Harry shrugged and smiled. “Are you feeling a bit better now?” Draco’s hands were still shaking, and he was still rocking back and forth and rubbing the skin of his thumb when he wasn’t signing, but he was no longer hitting or biting himself and his breathing had evened out.

‘ _little bit_ ’

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Draco hesitated. There was something that would help but he’d never asked someone other than Pansy, his parents or his Uncle Sev to do it for him. “You can ask.” Harry smiled softly and encouragingly at him.

_‘could you sit behind me and hug me?’_ he looked down at his knees, feeling awkward.

“Of course, yeah. A tight, squeezy hug?” Harry asked knowingly. Draco looked up, nodded and tilted his head to the side in question. “’s how Luna likes it.” He shrugged. Draco’s eyes widened a little at that- his cousin was autistic, just like him, and that phrasing made it sound like Harry had figured him out. Harry noticed and chuckled as he moved himself until he was sitting with his back pressed against the wall and his legs spread, and pulled Draco gently into his lap, wrapping his arms around the slender boy. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.” Draco nodded and leaned back against Harry’s firm chest, relaxing at the comforting pressure of the hug.

_‘thank you’_ Draco held his hands so Harry could still see them.

“No problem.” Harry hooked his chin over Draco’s shoulder, breathing in the subtle, clean scent of the blond’s citrus shower gel.

_‘how do you know sign anyway?’_ Draco’s eyes felt heavy as he melted against the shorter man.

“The woman who used to watch me sometimes, Mrs Figg, she was deaf, so she taught me when I was little.” Draco nodded, and he considered asking more questions, but before he even fully realized what was happening his eyes drooped and he fell asleep.

Rays of sunlight were piercing through Draco’s eyelids. ‘that was an incredibly unfair dream’ he thought to himself, snuggling down into…... something that definitely wasn’t his bedding. His eyes shot open, and he saw that he was laid on Harry Potter’s sweater-clad chest, the desi man’s strong arms curled around him. ‘so, not a dream…. Good to know.’ He pressed his face into Harry’s broad shoulder, closing his eyes again and revelling in the spicy, smoky scent of Harry. He felt the shorter man start to stir, and was entirely expecting to be shifted away, and so was incredibly surprised to feel Harry pull him tighter against him, one square, brown hand moving to card through his soft blond hair. Draco looked up into Harry’s face, and flushed when he saw his green eyes watching him.

“You feeling better this morning?” Harry’s voice was low and gravelly and oh-so-enticing.

“Yeah.” Draco whispered.

“Good.” Harry smiled at him, and he felt his heart pounding so loud he was sure Harry could probably feel it too. Harry was still looking at him, his expression soft and fond, and he ran his thick fingers down the side of Draco’s face until they were just under his sharp jaw. Draco’s silver eyes were wide. “Can I kiss you?”

Draco’s breath caught in his throat, and he nodded, gasping s he felt Harry’s plush lips cover his own much thinner ones. They kissed for what could have been seconds or eternities, until they broke apart, both breathing heavily.

“Why?...” Draco’s voice was small.

“God, Draco, I’ve been mental over you for years.” Harry didn’t try to force eye contact, instead just running his eyes all over Draco’s angular, flushed face.

“Really?”

“Really. I love you.” Harry smiled.

“Oh. I love you too.”


End file.
